see, I'm just a waste of life.

So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
― J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring.

————————

for better or for worse,

we told ourselves that once we got off that train

we would never get back on it.

when we were on the train,

we would both want the aisle seat.

and that's when we eventually sit apart —

on the same aisle,

but at a different side.

you would get engrossed

looking out the window

and admiring the cloud.

and all I could do was sit in envy

and wish things would be different.

it did become different.

it was our stop.

we alighted that train together,

supposedly hand in hand

but the intertwined fingers began to loosen.

we became separate entities once again,

just two individuals who were next to each other.

mostly silent now,

but sharing the same determination

not to get aboard again.

but determination itself didn't seem enough.

we were foolish to believe that we were strong enough.

and, eventually,

cheers to embarking on a new train journey;

started off with a high five,

ended up with a goodbye.

everything faded to silence

and there was no longer any answer.

or could we put everything down

just to remain hopeful?

————————

M.

I should just kill myself
Yeah, I could slit my wrists
But it really wouldn't help
Wouldn't fix my issues
Or change your mind.