i might not wake up at all.

 

 A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended.

— Ian McEwan, Atonement.

  ————————

 

the lifelong numbers game.

Learning about numbers is most fascinating at the start. The overload of amusement and sense of achievement in being able to count numbers on top of merely reciting them out from memory.

But numbers destroys lives; who's counting?

Progressing through a lifetime of numbers in various forms, all it brings is sorrow and agony. Growing older, the search for contentment becomes reliant on numbers and the state of mental well-being becomes depreciated by numbers as well.

Numbers play a part in everything — grades, salary, age, and so on.

Messed up at life, who's counting the number of drinks? Stressed out by life, who's counting the number of hair on the floor? Hungry and unhappy with life, who's counting the number of calories of food consumed during a stress-eating binge? Depleted by life, who's counting the number of hours of rested sleep? 

Who's counting, at all? Why are we even counting?

Depressed by life; how many months till I get better?

Living my life; how much more until I give up entirely?

 

 

On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you really?

 

 

 

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M.

living fast, can't take it slow.
got me laying on the floor.
nightly, going blind like high beams.