and we wake up in the breakdown.

"To be alive is to be vulnerable."

- Madeleine L'Engle

----------------

A pause. Silence. A deep sigh.

My walls were meant to be higher.

Vulnerability was not meant to exist.

Vulnerability was a curse.

Being vulnerable was like being trapped in a glass ball;
so fragile,
so unstable.

No one was to come near the walls.
It was built so high up,
so far away,
with a tinge of evil.

Be scared.

Whispered the timid and afraid.

How could anyone make others be fearful,
when she has many fears,
and the biggest fear
is herself.


The walls displayed no form of invitation
to be torn down,
or broken apart,
or removed.

Behind the walls hid the timid,
afraid to come out,
afraid to let anyone see
who she really was.


She hid behind the walls,
waiting for someone to find her.
Waiting for someone persistent enough,
to try and make a break through.

Many ran into the wall,
in attempt to break it down,
but instead
ended up with broken bones.

Many tried to build a ladder
to climb over and be a knight in shining armor,
to rescue her from her woes,
but she would burn them all.


Oh, the irony.
Wanting to be rescued,
yet keeping the defenses up,
burning all bridges.


Alas she saw
a balloon floating up from the other side.


The temptation to shoot it down
was so high.

Yet she stopped herself
and stopped to think.


The balloon wasn't any different from a glass ball, was it?

Curiosity was killing her.
All she saw was a balloon being released,
and no attempt to bulldoze or break down the walls
like all the others who failed.

She dug up for her ladder and began to climb,
to see what was on the other side,
to see where to balloon came from,
curiosity killing her more with each passing moment.

Urgency.
Need there be a rush to find out?
What was there to be afraid of?
What's the worst that could happen?

She sat at the top of the wall
and saw a sea of balloons on the other side.
As the strong winds blew,
he sat in the middle of them.

The balloons were blown around wildly,
following the breeze of the winds.
Some flew away before they could be caught
and placed back at the original place.


Who could resist balloons.
She cautiously climbed down the wall
on the outside
knowing that there's no way back in.

She grabbed onto the biggest balloon she saw,
without letting go.
She turned back and looked at her walls,
thinking of how high they were.


It was impossible for anyone to have gotten in,
especially if I didn't let them.

Chuckled the timid,
feeling a little strange warm sensation.

Walking away from the walls,
leaving her walls behind,
leaving everything behind her walls
where they are.


Not taking them with me.


For they were just bubbles.
Bubbles she could easily just burst on her own.
Bubbles she could blow away on her own.
Bubbles she never wanted to burst.

And now she's facing vulnerability,
like a glass ball.

Snow globes have a glass ball,
and in the glass ball,
there could be a fairytale
of some sort.


Well, a fairytale with balloons in a glass ball of a snow globe.
Who could resist that?

----------------

M.

with the things we never thought we could be.