just say the word.

Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.

- Allen Ginsberg

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What are you thinking about now?

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That's the question people like to ask me.

That's the question I love to ask myself.

I think.

I think a lot.

I think all the time.

I think a lot all the time.

I have this fear.

I fear that one day if I stop thinking, my brain would be useless.

I fear that if one day my thoughts stop, I will no longer be who I am.

I fear that if one day I don't think about things anymore, I will die of emptiness.

I am a thinker.

Not sure if I'm born to be one, but I think about that possibility.

Does that make me an overthinker?

So what exactly do people want to hear from me when they ask me that question?

When I ask myself that question, I usually get stuck in the loop of trying to figure out what exactly my thoughts are.

WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT?

Do we know what we think about?

Are we able to identify exactly what we are thinking about?

Nope, I don't really know what I'm thinking about at times.

Okay, time to think harder.

Yes, I end up thinking about what I'm thinking about and thinking if I should figure out what I'm thinking about and maybe think about how I should think of a way to stop myself from thinking and thinking of the chances that it might work and thinking of what might happen if it does not work.

How many times did the word "think" appear in there?

Because I just can't stop.

There is just some madness in me.

And to me, thinking is something that is pleasurable yet self-fulfilling.

The satisfying feeling of knowing that your mind is capable of thinking all kinds of things. Or at least, you think so.

I humbly acknowledge the brilliance of my mind at times. (?!)

Seems like a whole load of digression there.

Back to my questions to everyone.

What are our exact thoughts? 

 Are we able to tell what exactly we are thinking about?

Because each time I ask myself that,
I think about it,
and it feels like thoughts are added in,
based on what I think about upon being asked that question.

What if, there is that possibility that every time we zone out for a few seconds, we are not thinking about anything. We are just spacing out, without any thoughts. And when the question comes in, "what are you thinking about", you add a thought in on your own so that you realise you're thinking about something.

What are the chances that  every single thought we have are induced somehow?

Just like how you're reading all these and thinking about thinking because I am talking to you about thinking and you will realise that you're thinking about thinking.

Is it just me?
Or am I losing my mind?

So, what exactly are you thinking about now?

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I'm thinking about you.

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M.

I mean anything.